Do those women really exist?? You know the ones, the really fit ones that have a better pregnancy body than me at my best when not pregnant.. She sports a beautiful tan all year round, has toned arms, no orange peel skin, you can see where her leg finishes and her ankle begins, her hair is perfect and of course she's glowing so much she does not need make up, and don't get me started on her wardrobe.. I was totally going to be her, every time I got pregnant, I was going to be different, I was going to be that sexy mofo and I wasn't going to have to get up at 6am every morning to achieve it, it was going to come naturally. A lot of things came naturally during pregnancy but not one of them were what's written above.
Orange peel skin on my arms..yes! Skin pigmentation on my face..yes! Eczema on my knees and elbows..yes! Fat arms and ankles..double yes! Stretch marks..yes but not that many on my belly, mine decided to reside on my ass and thighs..bastards!! All of which I told myself I would work on after pregnancy, no big deal, a little bit of dedication to my body would be all it took. I'm on my third pregnancy now and I still tell myself that after this one that's it, I'm gonna have the body I've always dreamt of. To think I was like a rake when I was a teenager and ate like a horse, all I wanted was to gain a few pounds but couldn't. Then BOOM! I hit my 20's and the pounds rolled in.. just not the ones I would have hoped for.
I'm not one of those women that enjoy pregnancy all that much, in my first pregnancy I kind of felt I shouldn't admit that because I'm growing a baby inside me, and some women could only dream of that and people would think I was ungrateful. I definitely was not ungrateful and count my lucky stars every day but I couldn't keep up the 'loving being pregnant' charade for long. I know lots of woman that love pregnancy and I guess everyone has a different experience. Now ladies that haven't had their own experience on this yet.. don't let mine scare you, this is just one moany old cow's experience and will be much different to another not so moany cow.
My first pregnancy was the worst, so any pregnancy that followed was going to be a walk in the park and to be fair my second was pretty much just that. My third is becoming more like a wheelchair ride in the park if my pelvis keeps going the way it is. Oh momma, the pelvis pain is a biatch. I didn't really suffer with it in my other pregnancies but now it has me walking with legs spread, arse cocked out and a face like I just stepped in dog shit.
The first pregnancy really deserves it's own blog post, to be honest I've thought about doing it a few times but never had the bottle because I've never really spoke about it to anyone so going from that to telling everyone will take a bit of courage. Basically I had prenatal and post natal depression and probably only came to really understand it myself recently so I'll get to that blog in the future and tell my story.
But more of what I didn't expect when expecting was migraines, sciatica, pelvis pain.. You hear you're going to be tired and may have morning sickness and or in a lot of cases all day sickness but there is so much more you learn the hard way. Not that you could do anything to prevent it but I personally found it helped to ground my unborn child until they turn 18 for the pain they put me through during pregnancy.. but each to their own.
Seriously though the stigma on pregnancy has changed a lot. I fell pregnant with my first this time 4 years ago and maybe it was because it was my first but I felt the midwives and doctors put the fear of god into me about what you should and should not be doing and shame on you if you weren't going to breastfeed. I didn't know any different so you go along with whatever they tell you because they are the professionals after all but in my next two pregnancies, breast feeding has not been mentioned to me once. After giving birth to Jesse my second baby, the midwives thought they might need to keep him over night in the extra care unit while I stay in the normal aftercare ward downstairs and so I asked what will that mean for me feeding him to which they responded "we will give him a bottle". Now if that was when I had Riley over 3 years ago it would have been a whole different ball game. I'm pretty sure they would have chained me to his bedside with my boob hanging over his nose just encase he fancied a sniff. They didn't have to take him after all so I went on to breastfeed as I had planned. I did so with both boys because I wanted to give it a go and turns out it worked for me. I know it does not for everyone which is sad for the women that really want to do it but their baby won't latch or they have inverted nipples and so on. Breastfeeding should be a choice made solely by the person who is choosing whether or not to do it and not by the pressure of anyone else around them that think they know better. If it's something you choose not to do or you simply cannot do it, please try not to be hard on yourself and don't think you will be missing out on a special bond because that is not the case. You and the baby you create and carried for nine months will bond just fine whatever choices you make on feeding them.
With that being said, if you do decide to breast feed, let me give you a couple of tips that you may not be expecting. Again this is just my experience.
Day 3 is a bag of dicks!! By the end of it you will be frantically searching your hospital notes for the details of the Stork and a returns label but I assure you it gets better. Well it gets worse first but then it gets better. So day 3 works like this. Baby is getting used to being on the outside and is now ready for a proper feed, not the yellow drizzle they call colostrum, they want the white stuff and won't stop until they get it. Unfortunately all you got is the yellow drizzle but your new little bundle of wrinkles is just going to keep on sucking until that changes. So that's what happen ALL NIGHT LONG.
Tip one: Keep swapping boobs. I didn't know to do this with my first born and as it was more comfortable to hold him on one side that's what I did and ended up with one Pamela Anderson size boob and one Keira Knightly size boob... great look as you can imagine. What I meant by 'it gets worse, then better' is that after all your baby's hard work at getting your milk to come through, you are now left with the burning pain of the devil on your burger sized bleeding cracked nipples.
Tip two: For the next day or two hold your breath and curl your toes when your baby first latches on, and count.. just start counting. It will ease off by the time you hit 60 and by day 5 the pain is gone. If it's something you really want to do just know you need to persevere with that couple of days and it all gets a lot easier I promise.
Another tip on breastfeeding.. If you are going to leave your baby to go away for a night and plan on pumping during that night to keep the flow normal for when you get back to baby, DO IT. A full night sleep without having to get up to feed the baby is very tempting but when you don't pump and wake up drowning in your own breast milk feeling like someone has chained two kettle bells around your neck and left them hanging where your boobs should be then you realise, pumping for 10 minutes and going back to sleep is a much better option than the full night sleep... just saying!!
As for going pee pee after birth, take a bottle of luke warm water to the toilet with you and pour it over your foof as you go. It's simply the only way. If they offer you laxatives for your first poop, take the frickin laxatives!! The easier that bad boy comes out the better.
I'm sure you will have heard of 'the baby blues' that come in the days after your baby is born. Don't be ashamed of them or try to hide them. In fact tell your partner about them before you even give birth because you can be sure he won't have had a clue about them. Let him know what to expect and not to worry or think you are going crazy, just tell him.. you're going to cry over dinner, half way through laughing at a joke, in the middle of the night and probably when he simply gives you a hug, just deal with it. Everyone goes through them, your body has been through so much change and your hormones will be everywhere so don't think it's anything less than normal. Have a big old cry and you will feel much better.
But as I was saying about there being a stigma on pregnancy and there after, I think society as a whole have become more lenient with the do's and don'ts of pregnancy, birth and parenting so the stigma has changed and evolved in so many ways in the past few years. It's not so scary anymore. People share their stories and have given up on pretence. I know I certainly have and it's the best feeling because it's one that's not so lonely. We are lucky to be part of this time and age.
Now off I go for my 40th pee of the day.. peace out momma's xxx
